Intimacy ( What is it and How it really affects a Relationship? )

For those who are currently in the same situation as me, we have one question. Who has to be blamed or should we really blame someone for it? It is not the right time to point fingers on each other but I hope that this article would make us understand what really INTIMACY is and the impacts that it can bring a relationship. I am currently happy with my relationship with a nice man but there are times that we undergo some sorts of a test on how we really deal with problems.

Intimacy has been defined as a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group ( Dictionary.com).  This is the bond or closeness of people to each other. Often than not, intimacy can increase or decrease over time. Emotional intimacy is a double edged sword which brings you joy but it also makes you clingy.

Being intimate or a cold fish has its roots from our childhood. It rooted on how we are brought up by our parents or the environment and society that we grew up in. Let’s look at two different scenarios of a couple named Mathew and Jenny. Jenny is the clingy one in this relationship; she is warm and talkative while Mathew is cold and distant.  They often go into stupid fights verbally or through texts.  It is easy for us to judge the situation where in we point fingers on Jenny that she has to be blamed.
But many of us weren’t so lucky in childhood, and the models of attachment we’ve been given end up dominant towards our romantic roosts, often despite our conscious desires, unless we work actively to understand them. The mental images of relationships we acquire in childhood inform our unconscious patterns of behavior, getting in the way of satisfying connections unless we do the work of understanding and disarming them:

Depending on the circumstances of the individual household, insecurely attached children adapt in different ways. Absent a reliable and stable source of caring and attunement, some people will become anxiously attached—worrying and clinging by turns, plagued by feelings of not being good enough, on the lookout for signals that things are about to go south so that they can protect themselves. Others distance themselves from the uncaring caretaker in an effort to minimize the hurt; these are the “avoidantly attached.” They can be in relationships but stay walled-off or separate in important ways; their behaviors are often confusing to their partners because even though they look as if they’re “in” the relationship, in a real sense they’re not. Large parts of them are disengaged and off-limits. They prize their independence and self-sufficiency.

Keep in mind that these categories—anxious and avoidant—are broadly drawn and that humans are more nuanced and complicated than the labels might suggest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be clingy and needy in close relationships and relatively self-sufficient and successful in career endeavors. Similarly, an avoidant in intimate settings may do well in others that don’t make the same demands on him or her, or wake the sleeping dogs of childhood, such as work environments.

Needless to say, should these two types pair up—one intent on obliterating all boundaries and the other committed to putting them in place—a classic but toxic pattern of confrontation often emerges: demand/withdraw. In this scenario, the partner making the demand evokes a response of withdrawal or stonewalling from the other, putting the couple on an ever-turning carousel. Of course, if an anxious or avoidant is paired with a securely-based individual, the same pattern can also emerge.

If your partner has complained that you’re too clingy or distant, or it’s an observation you’ve heard from others, it’s important for you to consider whether the appraisal is correct. Confronting your own patterns of behavior isn’t always easy, but it will help you achieve what you want—a relationship with the right balance of interdependence and autonomy. The key is to disarm the automatic nature of your responses.

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The Good Things of Travelling in a Cheap yet rewarding way! (Philippine Edition)

Hello there dear readers! It was a sunny day here in the Philippines and the weather started to be cooler compared from the previous months we had.

I have visited some famous tourist spots and I can say that it was fun because you can meet people from different walks of life. Their thoughts may enlighten you on how you deal with your life and eventually they can make you understand other cultures as well.

I am deeply in love with a Man named (Y.I) let’s just name him Yoshi.I. and he is now miles away from me. We have been together for almost a year now and I can say that meeting him was one of the happiest moments in my life. We have traveled together and seen things that are a little bit different from his culture. I hope that travelling together will make us understand the world and our thoughts.

Okay! Going back to the topic, travelling might be a little troublesome for some people because they have a lot of things to consider like budget, accommodation, weather and time. Travelling should not be expensive but rather affordable and simple.

You don’t need a high-class hotel if you are a frequent traveler  because you will be just staying for just a limited period of time. You are there in that place to see the beauty of nature and also the beauty of the local people.

Here are some useful Applications/websites when you will be travelling here in the Philippines.

Which I can recommend.

1. ENJOY AN AFFORDABLE ACCOMMODATION THOUGH Travel Book (http://www.travelbook.ph/

Why I like this website is that they provide discount prices for hotels all over the Philippines. If you are from the Philippines and you don’t have a credit card, you can pay it via over-the-counter payment through supported department stores and payment centers. All you need to do is to navigate the website.

2. Safe and Honest Transportation in Manila ( Grabataxi)

One of the things that makes tourists worry in the Philippines is safety especially for taxi cabs. Well, say hi to Grabtaxi one of the most reliable Taxi Applications.
This Taxi application is just like Uber but I haven’t used Uber so I have no idea which is better. But this Taxi Application is by far the safest one that I know. Here is the website (http://grabtaxi.com/manila-philippines/) or you can also download the application from Google Play and App Store.

You can also try riding with Doroteo Ohavo Jr. The most honest Taxi Driver in Manila. He usually roams around the night in the Quezon City area and I used to be one of his regulars especially when I had my duties in the Hospital. You can be assured that you are in good hands with this guy. You can also read all about him from this website (http://www.rappler.com/rappler-blogs/katerina-francisco/88792-honest-taxi-driver-jhun-ochavo) Just text the numbers in the Pamphlet.
Here is his Pamphlet.

3. Cheap Restaurants around Manila
All you need is to have an access through the internet to navigate different restaurants in Manila or in the Philippines you can just check those here in these websites.

ZOMATO ( https://www.zomato.com/ )


Foozap (https://www.foozap.ph/)

That’s it for now dear readers! I will be making the Part 2 of this page on the coming days. ^_^

Always remember that TRAVELING GIVES YOU NEW EYES TO SEE THE WORLD.

Make Time! Especially for the ones you love the most.

I was browsing articles in my Facebook account and this post attracted me the most. Please take time on reading this. ^_^ 


SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?”
SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?”
SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “If you must know, I make $100 an hour.”
SON: “Oh! (With his head down).
SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow $50?”
The father was furious.
DAD: “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

DAD: “Are you asleep, son?”

SON: “No daddy, I’m awake”.
DAD: “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: “Oh, thank you daddy!”
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?”

SON: “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do.

“Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

What are you forgetting?

Life has its twists and turns and so is Love. It is like a journey to a desired destination where you gain and lose momentum. When people meet and plunge into a relationship, they are siphoned into a vacuum and confined in a different dimension.
There are stages in this dimension where Love develops positively or negatively.

The Infatuation Stage is the first stage in every relationship. It almost always starts with an intense attraction and an uncontrollable urge to be with each other. Both of you may be intensely sexually attracted to each other, or both of you may just love the cuddles and each other’s company. In this stage, both of you overlook any flaws of each other and only focus on the good sides.

The understanding stage. In this stage, both of you start getting to know each other better. You have long conversations with your partner that stretches late into the night, and everything about your partner interests and fascinates you. You talk about each other’s families, exes, likes and dislikes and other innocent secrets, and life seems so beautiful and romantic.

The Stage of disturbances.  It is the third stage where negative factors rubs your seem-to-be-unbreakable-bond into a looser one. For the first time ever in the relationship, both of you confront each other over a conflict, even though it’s sorted out quickly.

The opinion maker. In this stage, both of you create opinions about each other. As the months pass by, both of you know what to expect from each other, and you make an assumption about your partner’s commitment towards the relationship. When these opinions and expectations about your partner differ now and then in real life, it can either leave you ecstatic or depressed.  You are happy when a man makes unexpected efforts for you and there are some instances that  you get disappointed…

Whatever stages of love you are into, it always comes down in one point or one conclusion. It is whether you are will for your love or just give up and move on. People differs from one to another. As for me, I am puzzled on which way to take between fighting or giving up. There are a lot of roadblocks in my current relationship and it is like I am chasing time and the man I love. I hope he can look back and make me feel that I am also worth the attention even if I am in a difficult situation right now. I want to scream for help.. for comfort but he is busy making his own way through his life. I felt neglected or alone… but I know that someday and somehow he can look back at me that I really need his help or comfort. There are times that I want to talk to him until late at night like we used to but……things have changed. Maybe because of the demands from his work…and I am still hoping that he can still find time to at least talk to me. We are in an LDR type of relationship and it is really a challenge to catch up with him…. I hope that I can still have the energy or courage to go on and hold on to it….I want to ask him.. What are you forgetting?………

I think it is me….. you are forgetting….. please remember me…..please atleast remember me while you still have me… not remember me when I am gone… please value me while I am with you…..

In Solitude

Invariably left all alone

once more you’re crying sad

in solitude you weep and moan

feels like you’re going mad

Reminiscing the passion of

what’s now forgotten dreams

spreading sad the ashes on

what to thee vain so seems

From swirling dust we are all born

to dust we shall remain

and with it’s wicked painful scorn

life laughs won’t let you gain

They finally did come for thee

the walk in one dark row

so many things that you could be

instead you’re dying slow

Vulnerable, but still you’re strong

inclined not to give up

some things in life for you went wrong

but keep your head high up

What I’ve learned As of Now and still Learning a lot….

HERE’S ONE OF MY SENTIMENTS…. ARRGGHHH…i’M JUST BORED THIS TIME SO BARE WITH ME…


  • That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

  • That no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

  • That it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

  • That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

  • That it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
  • That you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

  • That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

  • That you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

  • That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

  • That it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

  • That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

  • That you can keep going long after you can’t.

  • That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

  • That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

  • That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be
    something else to take its place.

  • That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the
    consequences.

  • That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

  • That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

  • That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

  • That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

  • That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

  • That just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

  • That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

  • That you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

  • That your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

  • That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

  • That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

  • That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

  • That a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

  • That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

  • That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

  • That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

  • That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

  • That no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

  • That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

  • That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

  • That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

  • That it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

  • That people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.