I just need you to

I just need you to:

  1. Give me flowers even if it is an ordinary day.
  2. Support me on whichever I plan to do.
  3. Give me time whenever you are free. Just 5-30 minutes a day.
  4. Just a text will make me smile.
  5. Include me on your future.
  6. Understand me whenever I miss you.
  7. Give me your smile.
  8. Accept me on how I look.
  9. Accept me that I am just simple.
  10. Correct me if my choice is bad on things.
  11. Call or See me whenever you are free even for a short time.
  12. Include me on your plans.
  13. Be afraid of losing me.
  14. Not keep secrets from me.Because… You don’t know how precious you are to me……Y.I. 

Intimacy ( What is it and How it really affects a Relationship? )

For those who are currently in the same situation as me, we have one question. Who has to be blamed or should we really blame someone for it? It is not the right time to point fingers on each other but I hope that this article would make us understand what really INTIMACY is and the impacts that it can bring a relationship. I am currently happy with my relationship with a nice man but there are times that we undergo some sorts of a test on how we really deal with problems.

Intimacy has been defined as a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group ( Dictionary.com).  This is the bond or closeness of people to each other. Often than not, intimacy can increase or decrease over time. Emotional intimacy is a double edged sword which brings you joy but it also makes you clingy.

Being intimate or a cold fish has its roots from our childhood. It rooted on how we are brought up by our parents or the environment and society that we grew up in. Let’s look at two different scenarios of a couple named Mathew and Jenny. Jenny is the clingy one in this relationship; she is warm and talkative while Mathew is cold and distant.  They often go into stupid fights verbally or through texts.  It is easy for us to judge the situation where in we point fingers on Jenny that she has to be blamed.
But many of us weren’t so lucky in childhood, and the models of attachment we’ve been given end up dominant towards our romantic roosts, often despite our conscious desires, unless we work actively to understand them. The mental images of relationships we acquire in childhood inform our unconscious patterns of behavior, getting in the way of satisfying connections unless we do the work of understanding and disarming them:

Depending on the circumstances of the individual household, insecurely attached children adapt in different ways. Absent a reliable and stable source of caring and attunement, some people will become anxiously attached—worrying and clinging by turns, plagued by feelings of not being good enough, on the lookout for signals that things are about to go south so that they can protect themselves. Others distance themselves from the uncaring caretaker in an effort to minimize the hurt; these are the “avoidantly attached.” They can be in relationships but stay walled-off or separate in important ways; their behaviors are often confusing to their partners because even though they look as if they’re “in” the relationship, in a real sense they’re not. Large parts of them are disengaged and off-limits. They prize their independence and self-sufficiency.

Keep in mind that these categories—anxious and avoidant—are broadly drawn and that humans are more nuanced and complicated than the labels might suggest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be clingy and needy in close relationships and relatively self-sufficient and successful in career endeavors. Similarly, an avoidant in intimate settings may do well in others that don’t make the same demands on him or her, or wake the sleeping dogs of childhood, such as work environments.

Needless to say, should these two types pair up—one intent on obliterating all boundaries and the other committed to putting them in place—a classic but toxic pattern of confrontation often emerges: demand/withdraw. In this scenario, the partner making the demand evokes a response of withdrawal or stonewalling from the other, putting the couple on an ever-turning carousel. Of course, if an anxious or avoidant is paired with a securely-based individual, the same pattern can also emerge.

If your partner has complained that you’re too clingy or distant, or it’s an observation you’ve heard from others, it’s important for you to consider whether the appraisal is correct. Confronting your own patterns of behavior isn’t always easy, but it will help you achieve what you want—a relationship with the right balance of interdependence and autonomy. The key is to disarm the automatic nature of your responses.

Make Time! Especially for the ones you love the most.

I was browsing articles in my Facebook account and this post attracted me the most. Please take time on reading this. ^_^ 


SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?”
SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?”
SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “If you must know, I make $100 an hour.”
SON: “Oh! (With his head down).
SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow $50?”
The father was furious.
DAD: “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

DAD: “Are you asleep, son?”

SON: “No daddy, I’m awake”.
DAD: “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: “Oh, thank you daddy!”
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?”

SON: “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do.

“Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

In Solitude

Invariably left all alone

once more you’re crying sad

in solitude you weep and moan

feels like you’re going mad

Reminiscing the passion of

what’s now forgotten dreams

spreading sad the ashes on

what to thee vain so seems

From swirling dust we are all born

to dust we shall remain

and with it’s wicked painful scorn

life laughs won’t let you gain

They finally did come for thee

the walk in one dark row

so many things that you could be

instead you’re dying slow

Vulnerable, but still you’re strong

inclined not to give up

some things in life for you went wrong

but keep your head high up