I just need you to

I just need you to:

  1. Give me flowers even if it is an ordinary day.
  2. Support me on whichever I plan to do.
  3. Give me time whenever you are free. Just 5-30 minutes a day.
  4. Just a text will make me smile.
  5. Include me on your future.
  6. Understand me whenever I miss you.
  7. Give me your smile.
  8. Accept me on how I look.
  9. Accept me that I am just simple.
  10. Correct me if my choice is bad on things.
  11. Call or See me whenever you are free even for a short time.
  12. Include me on your plans.
  13. Be afraid of losing me.
  14. Not keep secrets from me.Because… You don’t know how precious you are to me……Y.I. 

Intimacy ( What is it and How it really affects a Relationship? )

For those who are currently in the same situation as me, we have one question. Who has to be blamed or should we really blame someone for it? It is not the right time to point fingers on each other but I hope that this article would make us understand what really INTIMACY is and the impacts that it can bring a relationship. I am currently happy with my relationship with a nice man but there are times that we undergo some sorts of a test on how we really deal with problems.

Intimacy has been defined as a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group ( Dictionary.com).  This is the bond or closeness of people to each other. Often than not, intimacy can increase or decrease over time. Emotional intimacy is a double edged sword which brings you joy but it also makes you clingy.

Being intimate or a cold fish has its roots from our childhood. It rooted on how we are brought up by our parents or the environment and society that we grew up in. Let’s look at two different scenarios of a couple named Mathew and Jenny. Jenny is the clingy one in this relationship; she is warm and talkative while Mathew is cold and distant.  They often go into stupid fights verbally or through texts.  It is easy for us to judge the situation where in we point fingers on Jenny that she has to be blamed.
But many of us weren’t so lucky in childhood, and the models of attachment we’ve been given end up dominant towards our romantic roosts, often despite our conscious desires, unless we work actively to understand them. The mental images of relationships we acquire in childhood inform our unconscious patterns of behavior, getting in the way of satisfying connections unless we do the work of understanding and disarming them:

Depending on the circumstances of the individual household, insecurely attached children adapt in different ways. Absent a reliable and stable source of caring and attunement, some people will become anxiously attached—worrying and clinging by turns, plagued by feelings of not being good enough, on the lookout for signals that things are about to go south so that they can protect themselves. Others distance themselves from the uncaring caretaker in an effort to minimize the hurt; these are the “avoidantly attached.” They can be in relationships but stay walled-off or separate in important ways; their behaviors are often confusing to their partners because even though they look as if they’re “in” the relationship, in a real sense they’re not. Large parts of them are disengaged and off-limits. They prize their independence and self-sufficiency.

Keep in mind that these categories—anxious and avoidant—are broadly drawn and that humans are more nuanced and complicated than the labels might suggest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be clingy and needy in close relationships and relatively self-sufficient and successful in career endeavors. Similarly, an avoidant in intimate settings may do well in others that don’t make the same demands on him or her, or wake the sleeping dogs of childhood, such as work environments.

Needless to say, should these two types pair up—one intent on obliterating all boundaries and the other committed to putting them in place—a classic but toxic pattern of confrontation often emerges: demand/withdraw. In this scenario, the partner making the demand evokes a response of withdrawal or stonewalling from the other, putting the couple on an ever-turning carousel. Of course, if an anxious or avoidant is paired with a securely-based individual, the same pattern can also emerge.

If your partner has complained that you’re too clingy or distant, or it’s an observation you’ve heard from others, it’s important for you to consider whether the appraisal is correct. Confronting your own patterns of behavior isn’t always easy, but it will help you achieve what you want—a relationship with the right balance of interdependence and autonomy. The key is to disarm the automatic nature of your responses.

In Solitude

Invariably left all alone

once more you’re crying sad

in solitude you weep and moan

feels like you’re going mad

Reminiscing the passion of

what’s now forgotten dreams

spreading sad the ashes on

what to thee vain so seems

From swirling dust we are all born

to dust we shall remain

and with it’s wicked painful scorn

life laughs won’t let you gain

They finally did come for thee

the walk in one dark row

so many things that you could be

instead you’re dying slow

Vulnerable, but still you’re strong

inclined not to give up

some things in life for you went wrong

but keep your head high up

Be Thankful

Be Thankful

Should you find something on your dinner plate that doesn’t appeal to you, don’t complain. There are people who don’t have anything on their plate.

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic, don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad, think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk

Starting Anew

2015-new-years-resoltuions-featured-image
People are really busy nowadays planning on what things they should do for this year 2015. Many of those who had already taken their vacation wants to get another one and those who were unfortunately working in their companies during the holidays are hoping to have their most awaited break within this year. Humans are a-like in some ways or most of the ways, they follow a set of instructions from what we call the SOCIAL Manual where you clearly follow the steps and you can be acceptable by the society itself.

m
At a certain point.. that is the reality wherein people always try to blend in because sometimes being different is not always a good idea and it is quite lonely though.  The reason that I am writing blog is to empower, influence and inspire the readers and I to live and to start anew this year. Shake off your bad experiences and breathe in the great things to come.

We are currently living in different places on earth but we have one goal that is to be HAPPY in our lives. Being Happy is considered as one of the hardest things to find or to acquire, it is because we have different definition of Happiness. Being happy is a choice and it is individualize. The big irony is we are really hungry on the things that we think that can make us happy like a new car, house, job etc and the common denominator is, those things are material things. I can recall a quote lifted from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry  and it goes like this ““And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”  After reading this children’s book  ( Actually, a lot of people defined that book as like that but every line is quite alluring to the adult readers) I have realized one thing, a child’s mind is pure and not polluted by greed and I can openly admit that I forgot the child in me. The world became different a place to live when race divided, society confused and wealth classified us.  I know that the only thing that I constant in this world is change. THE WORLD IS NOT CHANGING but PEOPLE ARE.  We are changing the world into something that is beyond our imagination. We can make or break our own world and that comes with our happiness.

littlePrinceCover

We should not forget that every little thing matters.  We should count our blessings and not complain on things we don’t have. Live happy and Live simple.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Note: I Don’t own any pictures that I have posted in this blog. 

Bend but DON’T BREAK

One of my fondest memories as a child is going by the river and sitting idly on the bank. There I would enjoy the peace and quiet, watch the water rush downstream, and listen to the chirps of birds and the rustling of leaves in the trees. I would also watch the bamboo trees bend under pressure from the wind and watch them return gracefully to their upright or original position after the wind had died down.

When I think about the bamboo tree’s ability to bounce back or return to it’s original position, the word resilience comes to mind. When used in reference to a person this word means the ability to readily recover from shock, depression or any other situation that stretches the limits of a person’s emotions.

Have you ever felt like you are about to snap? Have you ever felt like you are at your breaking point? Thankfully, you have survived the experience to live to talk about it.

During the experience you probably felt a mix of emotions that threatened your health. You felt emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and you most likely endured unpleasant physical symptoms.

Life is matter of bending from all of our anxieties or things that can put us down. Just remember, at the end of every storm the sun will always come out. Everyone of us, has its own kryptonyte that can surely make us feel worthless or even at the worst, meaningless. But worry not! We live to find meanings and to prove our worth to anything that can put us down.

JUST REMEMBER: BEND BUT DON’T EVER BREAK!!!