Intimacy ( What is it and How it really affects a Relationship? )

For those who are currently in the same situation as me, we have one question. Who has to be blamed or should we really blame someone for it? It is not the right time to point fingers on each other but I hope that this article would make us understand what really INTIMACY is and the impacts that it can bring a relationship. I am currently happy with my relationship with a nice man but there are times that we undergo some sorts of a test on how we really deal with problems.

Intimacy has been defined as a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group ( Dictionary.com).  This is the bond or closeness of people to each other. Often than not, intimacy can increase or decrease over time. Emotional intimacy is a double edged sword which brings you joy but it also makes you clingy.

Being intimate or a cold fish has its roots from our childhood. It rooted on how we are brought up by our parents or the environment and society that we grew up in. Let’s look at two different scenarios of a couple named Mathew and Jenny. Jenny is the clingy one in this relationship; she is warm and talkative while Mathew is cold and distant.  They often go into stupid fights verbally or through texts.  It is easy for us to judge the situation where in we point fingers on Jenny that she has to be blamed.
But many of us weren’t so lucky in childhood, and the models of attachment we’ve been given end up dominant towards our romantic roosts, often despite our conscious desires, unless we work actively to understand them. The mental images of relationships we acquire in childhood inform our unconscious patterns of behavior, getting in the way of satisfying connections unless we do the work of understanding and disarming them:

Depending on the circumstances of the individual household, insecurely attached children adapt in different ways. Absent a reliable and stable source of caring and attunement, some people will become anxiously attached—worrying and clinging by turns, plagued by feelings of not being good enough, on the lookout for signals that things are about to go south so that they can protect themselves. Others distance themselves from the uncaring caretaker in an effort to minimize the hurt; these are the “avoidantly attached.” They can be in relationships but stay walled-off or separate in important ways; their behaviors are often confusing to their partners because even though they look as if they’re “in” the relationship, in a real sense they’re not. Large parts of them are disengaged and off-limits. They prize their independence and self-sufficiency.

Keep in mind that these categories—anxious and avoidant—are broadly drawn and that humans are more nuanced and complicated than the labels might suggest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be clingy and needy in close relationships and relatively self-sufficient and successful in career endeavors. Similarly, an avoidant in intimate settings may do well in others that don’t make the same demands on him or her, or wake the sleeping dogs of childhood, such as work environments.

Needless to say, should these two types pair up—one intent on obliterating all boundaries and the other committed to putting them in place—a classic but toxic pattern of confrontation often emerges: demand/withdraw. In this scenario, the partner making the demand evokes a response of withdrawal or stonewalling from the other, putting the couple on an ever-turning carousel. Of course, if an anxious or avoidant is paired with a securely-based individual, the same pattern can also emerge.

If your partner has complained that you’re too clingy or distant, or it’s an observation you’ve heard from others, it’s important for you to consider whether the appraisal is correct. Confronting your own patterns of behavior isn’t always easy, but it will help you achieve what you want—a relationship with the right balance of interdependence and autonomy. The key is to disarm the automatic nature of your responses.

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The Good Things of Travelling in a Cheap yet rewarding way! (Philippine Edition)

Hello there dear readers! It was a sunny day here in the Philippines and the weather started to be cooler compared from the previous months we had.

I have visited some famous tourist spots and I can say that it was fun because you can meet people from different walks of life. Their thoughts may enlighten you on how you deal with your life and eventually they can make you understand other cultures as well.

I am deeply in love with a Man named (Y.I) let’s just name him Yoshi.I. and he is now miles away from me. We have been together for almost a year now and I can say that meeting him was one of the happiest moments in my life. We have traveled together and seen things that are a little bit different from his culture. I hope that travelling together will make us understand the world and our thoughts.

Okay! Going back to the topic, travelling might be a little troublesome for some people because they have a lot of things to consider like budget, accommodation, weather and time. Travelling should not be expensive but rather affordable and simple.

You don’t need a high-class hotel if you are a frequent traveler  because you will be just staying for just a limited period of time. You are there in that place to see the beauty of nature and also the beauty of the local people.

Here are some useful Applications/websites when you will be travelling here in the Philippines.

Which I can recommend.

1. ENJOY AN AFFORDABLE ACCOMMODATION THOUGH Travel Book (http://www.travelbook.ph/

Why I like this website is that they provide discount prices for hotels all over the Philippines. If you are from the Philippines and you don’t have a credit card, you can pay it via over-the-counter payment through supported department stores and payment centers. All you need to do is to navigate the website.

2. Safe and Honest Transportation in Manila ( Grabataxi)

One of the things that makes tourists worry in the Philippines is safety especially for taxi cabs. Well, say hi to Grabtaxi one of the most reliable Taxi Applications.
This Taxi application is just like Uber but I haven’t used Uber so I have no idea which is better. But this Taxi Application is by far the safest one that I know. Here is the website (http://grabtaxi.com/manila-philippines/) or you can also download the application from Google Play and App Store.

You can also try riding with Doroteo Ohavo Jr. The most honest Taxi Driver in Manila. He usually roams around the night in the Quezon City area and I used to be one of his regulars especially when I had my duties in the Hospital. You can be assured that you are in good hands with this guy. You can also read all about him from this website (http://www.rappler.com/rappler-blogs/katerina-francisco/88792-honest-taxi-driver-jhun-ochavo) Just text the numbers in the Pamphlet.
Here is his Pamphlet.

3. Cheap Restaurants around Manila
All you need is to have an access through the internet to navigate different restaurants in Manila or in the Philippines you can just check those here in these websites.

ZOMATO ( https://www.zomato.com/ )


Foozap (https://www.foozap.ph/)

That’s it for now dear readers! I will be making the Part 2 of this page on the coming days. ^_^

Always remember that TRAVELING GIVES YOU NEW EYES TO SEE THE WORLD.