I used to be slim but as time passes by I totally forgot what is like to be one. I’m now staring at this girl in front of the mirror and I couldn’t even recognize her anymore. My clothes don’t fit me anymore and the way that people treat me changed when my soul was enclosed with this fat suit. All along I thought that people will accept me no matter who and what and no matter what size I am but it is a total lie. People in this world are always objective. What they see is what they get. Let’s see when you are buying a product, you will choose the one with a reliable brand name and with a nicer packaging, It is as the same as society views people. The society dictates what is in and what is not. People like me have a difficulty on living with this society and we are doing our best to fit in.
When I have announced that I will go on a diet and shared my diet plan on my SNS, people reacted as if it is a trend. People react the same way as society goes. We are a puppet of our on illusion and delusion. We view a life of full of ideals and we throw things away that don’t fit our purpose. I have been rejected because of how I look and it is really painful more than what you can imagine.
That pain triggers you to want to rip yourself off every time you look at the mirror. It makes you doubt on yourself and your capabilities. But then again, upon realizing that the world is cruel for people they thought that are not capable of achieving something, I was filled with fury and hatred of being a part of the system.
And Now, I am doing my best to be the person I feared. A person who is a puppet of the materialistic society where fashion and ideals are their gods. Honestly, It is not my liking.
People will always settle on what they see… and that is the ugly truth… How I wish that someday the society will bring back its sanity.